Kiwiburger

After going into overdraft on my Lloyds' account due to a Gourmet Burger Kitchen version of this very burger--and consequently owing the bank upwards of £400--and after a move into my new apartment that left me a) tired, b) longing for red meat, and c) eager to try out my new kitchen, I decided to try this complex-tasting yet simple-to-assemble burger.

A warning, though: at almost six inches tall, it's almost impossible to eat without a knife and fork. Still, if you can wrap your mouth around this sweet and tart mound of protein and veggies, you'll never go back to a normal cheeseburger ever again...

For one burger, you need:
1 hamburger patty
2-3 slices of pickled beets, sliced about 1/4 inch thick
1 slice of pineapple, about 1/2 and inch thick
Cheddar cheese (enough to cover one bun)
1 egg
1 slice of tomato
1 hamburger bun (I used a challah roll because I had it on hand, but a crusty sourdough roll is ideal for this hulking sandwich)
Salt and Pepper and Mayo and Ketchup to taste

1. Begin cooking the hamburger patty in a frying pan on medium heat. Salt and pepper both sides of the burger and squeeze out some of the juices as it's cooking.

2. Cut the pineapple, beets, and tomato into the appropriate sizes if you haven't done so already. I only had a whole pineapple in my kitchen and was afraid I wouldn't be able to hack it (literally!), but my large Dehillerin knife was up to the task!

3. Place cheese on bottom of half of bun and microwave for about 30 seconds, until melted.

4. Depress the pineapple slices into the cheese--this will keep them from slipping quite as much.

5. Just before the burger is done, fry an egg in the same pan, salting and peppering to taste. Flip it, and cook until the yolk is runny, then tip it over onto the hamburger and put the burger on the pineapple. The stack is getting taller...

6. Carefully place the beets and tomato on top of the egg, and the bun on top of them. If the yolk breaks, even better! This isn't a delicate sandwich, so you might as well get used to it early on!

7. Ketchup up and eat away!